I think that the best indication of how much you love and care for yourself is the time where you don’t have the people who love you connected to you emotionally. When people provide you with love, it feeds your ego. It makes you feel secure, content, and it gets too comfortable. When they suddenly go, and stop feeding you with love, all there is to provide you with genuine love and care is yourself.
I learnt this because I’m naturally independent, but I still need love and care. But when someone who once provided me with everything I want, hurt me, I felt empty, as if a part of my heart was filled by that person, but I can’t fill it with my own love to myself. Suddenly, I just started not caring about things. My health declined, and self-content too. I even stopped blogging and talking to people (well, as much people), as I wanted alone time to self-reflect.
I do feel vulnerable when I write my deepest emotions on the internet, especially when a lot of readers know me in person but have no idea what I’m experiencing. But we need to let go of our egos, and just be transparent with our feelings, because we are all vulnerable. When we were born, we were vulnerable, but didn’t hide it. So, why are we hiding it now?
What happened to me wasn’t bad, it was a mini phase of self-growth. The fact that I point out these negative feelings I have towards myself now, means that I will avoid these feelings in the future. I’m being sensitive enough to distinguish and indicate my emotions, however major or minor, to become a better version of me.
It’s important to become sensitive enough to the workings of your body, mentally, emotionally, and physically, so you can clearly sense when your body is telling you a something (in my case, it’s an unwanted feeling, and my body was telling me to sort it out).