I’ve been trying to let go of that urge to control things. Sometimes I just love things being in my hand and me in control of what’s going on. My hands just grasp on it for my sanity. But I need to let go. I need to let go and accept that whatever will be, will be. There’s been a long time when that feeling of control wasn’t really there or wasn’t so intense. I was in a healthier frame of mind. But now with all sorts of things becoming quite unknown to me and overwhelming to me, there’s this need to control as much of my current life as I can and to hold on tight because of a vulnerability of mine. I need to realise that whatever will be will be, loosen up my fingers and just let go. The worst thing that could happen is perhaps the best thing that could happen, because it’s meant to be. Things should happen freely and flowingly, rather than forced and controlled.
It’s okay if you let go. It’s okay. You don’t own anything, remember that. You are actually not in possession of anything, life doesn’t owe you anything, you’re not supposed to own ‘this or that’. Because you just don’t.
My fear holding me back from letting go requires me to waste my energy and hold onto something with all my power and strength so it allegedly doesn’t disappear from my life. Impossible. It’s a waste of my energy, when we can just let go, let it all be free, and rather than hold onto something, just flow like a feather so light and free in the air. It’s like holding onto the bar of a helicopter and finally letting go so you’re alone just supported by the air. Let it take you. Let it take you away and just let go. Breathe, finally breathe.
Learn to love the journey and enjoy every moment of it without holding onto anything.
A beautiful soul got me this amazing book about Japanese skincare, and I will be sharing with you some of the tips and tricks that I pick up from this book very soon! 😀 ♥
You need to do two things – replenish protein levels and deeply condition. Replenishing protein levels in your hair is vital since this is what your hair is made from and all the damaged done to it by heat, chemicals, and everyday wear and tear can strip your hair from its optimum protein levels, and therefore leaving it weak, lifeless, and not in it’s natural state. Deep conditioning is also highly important so you supply your hair with enough moisture to keep it smooth, and sustain it’s elasticity.
I find myself lost. I don’t know who I am. What I stand for. Just lost in emotions. Where am I? I find myself being 12 again. The age of 12 when I faced so many major changes in my life, confused about my identity, asking who am I, where am I, why am I created. A time of complete confusion. A time where I felt lonely, a time where I felt like I needed so much, I needed freedom. Physical and spiritual freedom. I had no confidence. Constrained within myself. I didn’t feel beautiful. Nothing made me feel beautiful. I used to wish someone told me I was truly beautiful. I used to wish a boy could hold me, touch me, just out of pure love and emotion. I used to wish someone can look into my eyes and uplift me, lift me up so so high that I wouldn’t feel a thing. My face showed absolutely no sign of what I was suffering from inside. I wanted to be held, I wanted to feel safe. I wanted someone to wrap around me, protect me. I was so lonely. Gradually during my teenage years, I developed and became a whole new person, each day, just reflecting and growing, mentally and emotionally. I went to all different directions, tried them, experienced them, and picked where I want to be. I got incredible confidence, from simply reducing myself down to my soul, emitting pure love, a pure smile to everything around me. I got to a point where I felt genuine happiness in my life. And through all I’ve been through, I’ve genuinely realised how purely blessed I am, what I want in life, to live a life full of growth, love, and pure embracing of my emotions, good and bad, because they’re all experiences and they’re a blessing for me. That’s how I continued and I know that’s how I want to continue, just living genuinely with love. But how do I feel right now? I feel like I’m back to 12 or my early teenage years. I feel like I want so much, I want so much love, I want to be wrapped and protected. I feel scared. I don’t feel like I’m beautiful. I created this blog originally to share my emotions, and positivity on body image and self-acceptance. How ironic I find myself 3 years later wanting that self acceptance all over again. It’s not as intense as when I was younger, but I really feel like I’m not good enough.. I’m not beautiful enough.. I’m not complete.. I’m crying as I write this.. I don’t know who I am I don’t know what I want.. I feel confused.. I feel like I am nothing.. I want to cry cry cry all my emotions out.. It’s overwhelming.. But this is just growth…
Madison Stubbington for Gucci, a twist to the typical ‘trendy’ make-up…
Social media, trends, whatever, are all portraying the typical woman with big lashes, chiselled cheekbones, a defined jawline, a thin contoured nose, bronzed, flawless skin, big full lips that this ‘particular’ celebrity induced, etc… Contouring with make-up has been like an order ‘this is how you do it, this is how you should look like’ and there’s nothing wrong with that, if you’re comfortable with yourself looking like that, that’s fine. But it’s about finding what works best for you, not for the mass. I was doing my friend’s make-up the other day and what stood up for me was when she said ‘you didn’t try to change my facial features’. I myself love big lashes, bronzer, but I feel uncomfortable when I follow these trends, why do I want to be like the rest for? I started researching Korean, Japanese, Parisian, African trends, etc. for a possibly different twist on the typical picture in social media. The best advice I would give to anyone is to spend time in front of the mirror, experiment, and be creative with what works best for you. Do more leading than following, find your own style. Study yourself. What ever is on trend, try doing the opposite, try to invert the traditional methods of how things are done. Find out how to contour your own face shape, your own eye shape, through trial and error, pick what makes you feel comfortable in your own eyes. Who says you can’t wear a strong, bright lip with a strong eye?! Same thing for how you dress, your hair, your body, study yourself and be comfortable in yourself, there’s no feature that you have to hide for the eyes of society, and there’s no feature that you have to show. It’s your own identity, not anyone else’s. I was walking by a jewellery store the other day and I was happy to see model Madison Stubbington for Gucci without heavy contouring, eye lashes, big overdrawn lips, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s taking a different direction to the ‘norm’. Smile, you’re a beautiful soul (and spend time with yourself in the mirror)! ♥ ;D
When I’m sad, my cat Simba always gives me warmth, makes me smile and loves me unconditionally. It is with nature I find purity, sensitivity and love which gives me goosebumps and brings tears to my eyes. I want to have all the animals in the world I want see them, touch them, and feel them, that’s where I want to live. In between a pack of lions ❤️ I want to run with elephants, roll around with gorillas, swim with the great whale, that’s where I belong… ❤️
Bourjois La Laque in Chair et tendre
I’m loving this colour because it’s so simple and elegant, I only applied one coat and the pigment was pretty intense!
Find out why rose water is my favourite lip exfoliant, under eye treatment, and make-up remover! Click here for the full article to get loads of uses and beauty secrets with rose water!
This smoothie is a real burst of antioxidants, the ingredients in it are specially designed to take care of your skin for a more smoother, renewed appearance. Blueberries, baobab, and honey are full of detoxifying properties, while the collagen provides the necessary protein needed for skin regeneration. In addition, flax seed oil and coconut oil supply your skin with lots of vitamin E, to properly hydrate your skin! Continue reading
I posted my number one tip a while ago that would transform any nails into super fast growing healthiness! From a nutritional perceptive, nails love biotin, omega-3, protein, and zinc! I found that increasing foods rich with these nutrients in my diet really helped increase the strength of my nails, because usually they would grow to a certain length and then gradually start to chip away. This is a list of foods rich in these nutrients in addition to what worked for me… Continue reading