These two makeup looks are quite different. I don’t usually contour on a daily basis, since it can look too harsh on my face and I like to do the opposite of trends. But this time I decided to do some of the makeup on trend in the western world at the moment, with some cream contouring and highlighting to really bring out bone structure and definition to the face, in addition to warm-toned elongated smokey eyes, and pouty lips. The other makeup look however has minimal contouring but instead focuses on fresh, dewy skin, minimal eye makeup, with a beautiful reddish-berry lip using Huda Beauty’s lip liner in ‘heart breaker’, I love colours like this paired with simple eyes and volumised lashes.
What makeup looks do you want to see next?! ❤
Recently, I’ve been trying to gain weight mostly through healthy calories and eating more carbs as I have been advised! I really find this smoothie a brilliant way to gain weight, as it packs 1161 calories, so knowing that I’ve already packed at least 1000 calories in the beginning of my day, makes it so much easier to reach my calorie goal per day. This smoothie is also very handy and quick to make, and fits great into my daily work routine. I have seen good results with this smoothie, in a good amount of time. These are the main ingredients I use..
1161 calories, 124 carbs, 64g fat, 31g protein
Additional ingredients I sometimes add:
Let me know if this was beneficial to you or if you want more weight gain tips! ♥
Hi everyone, I missed you all so much!!! ♥ I haven’t posted in a while, which seems like the longest time I have ever been away from blogging. I’ve been going through a time of strong transition in my life, and I feel like I’ve been quite far away from myself, which didn’t inspire me to post and I didn’t feel like I can truly talk from my heart. From every experience, it’s so important that you learn from it or else it’d be a waste, and right now I’m going through a phase of important decisions, employment, and entering another stage of my life after finishing school. On a positive note, I am launching my own business which I will soon create a page for, offering some amazing natural products which I am so excited about! I am also planning to post more on health, beauty, and my daily emotional self-support posts from random observations in my life! I love you all so much, and I want us to all grow together to become happier, healthier, stronger individuals by uniting and loving. Smile, because you’re a beautiful soul! ♥
After trying out the sports waist trainer, I knew I had to get the latex waist trainer which is a more firm, aggressive version for faster results. As the sports waist trainer worked really well for me, I was curious to what the latex one would do. If you would like to know about my results from waist training, my reasons for waist training, the safety of waist training, how it works, and how often I wear it, please check out the article above!
In contrast to my first waist trainer, I have more mixed feelings about this one. Ultimately, I think it all depends on your body structure – whether you have a long torso or a short torso to how comfortable this waist trainer would be for you, I’ve noted at the bottom of the article which brands are better if you have a longer torso or a shorter torso.
On the positive side, when I wear it, and take it off at the end of the day, I feel like I’ve had an ab workout as my abs feel a bit sore. I think this happens due to the flexible fabric (latex) when I breathe in, and my chest expands, they have to push through the resistance of the fabric so I can fully inhale. Therefore, the repetition of this process through out the day works out the abs and helps to define them more. This waist trainer also causes me to sweat a lot more and I feel heat around my core, which releases toxins and helps to burn more calories. Here are other positives I noticed:
However, all the positives didn’t really outweigh the negatives for me. The waist trainer did not make my waist any smaller after a total of three months which may not be a lot, but I noticed a reduction in my waist size after just a month of wearing the sports trainer, and as it is a more powerful version than the sports trainer, it didn’t really rise up to my expectations. However, this may be due to my waist not being able to physically get any smaller rather than the product itself. Nevertheless, the main reason why this waist trainer did not work for me was my body shape and the structure to how it’s built. I have a very short torso, with longer legs, therefore, the smallest part of my waist is actually very short. This waist trainer is very long, so it could be suited to people with a longer torso. However, it temporarily elongates my waist and works as overall body shaping wear for me rather than a medium to make my waist smaller. However, it does not tick all my boxes due to the negative aspects I’ve noticed:
Therefore, this waist trainer would be a lot better for someone with a longer torso and it’s better as overall body shaping wear as it is a single unit tightening up a large part of your core together due to it’s length, rather than being concentrated on the waist.
However, my sports trainer was from a brand called TruFigure which I think caters more for a short torso. The classic latex waist trainer is by Ann Chery which I would steer away from due to my body shape, but it would be more effective for those with a longer torso. Both brands manufacture classic latex waist trainers and sports waist trainers. Next time I might try TruFigure’s latex waist trainer and if I do, I’ll update you with what happens!
*Please note that a waist trainer is not in any way a substitute for diet or exercise, it is more of an ‘enhancement’ or a ‘supplement’. Always consult your physician before trying anything new!
If you have any questions, please let me know in the comment section!
Alternatively, you can email me on firstname.lastname@example.org
Have a great day and smile because you’re a beautiful soul! ♥
I’ve been trying to let go of that urge to control things. Sometimes I just love things being in my hand and me in control of what’s going on. My hands just grasp on it for my sanity. But I need to let go. I need to let go and accept that whatever will be, will be. There’s been a long time when that feeling of control wasn’t really there or wasn’t so intense. I was in a healthier frame of mind. But now with all sorts of things becoming quite unknown to me and overwhelming to me, there’s this need to control as much of my current life as I can and to hold on tight because of a vulnerability of mine. I need to realise that whatever will be will be, loosen up my fingers and just let go. The worst thing that could happen is perhaps the best thing that could happen, because it’s meant to be. Things should happen freely and flowingly, rather than forced and controlled.
It’s okay if you let go. It’s okay. You don’t own anything, remember that. You are actually not in possession of anything, life doesn’t owe you anything, you’re not supposed to own ‘this or that’. Because you just don’t.
My fear holding me back from letting go requires me to waste my energy and hold onto something with all my power and strength so it allegedly doesn’t disappear from my life. Impossible. It’s a waste of my energy, when we can just let go, let it all be free, and rather than hold onto something, just flow like a feather so light and free in the air. It’s like holding onto the bar of a helicopter and finally letting go so you’re alone just supported by the air. Let it take you. Let it take you away and just let go. Breathe, finally breathe.
Learn to love the journey and enjoy every moment of it without holding onto anything.
My beautiful mama made this recipe because of her dietary preferences, she wanted a cake that would be high in protein, and low in fat as well as sugar. In addition, she wanted to cut out processed bread from her diet and replace it with something that would still provide her with energy, carbohydrates, in addition to being lovingly homemade! This is not a ‘typical’ cake, due to the low absence of fat so it is more dry and almost bread-like. Whole-meal flour was also used to boost the nutritional content of the cake!
Preheat the oven to 160 C/320 F/Gas 3. Line a baking tin with grease proof paper and oil it up.
Whisk together the butter and the sugar. Add the eggs, vanilla, salt and mix well. Then add the protein powder and the milk. Make sure the mixture is well blended before gradually adding in the flour. Sift the flour and baking powder in the batter (the wholemeal flour is a bit hard to sift!) fold it in the flour mixture with a spatula gradually so you don’t add too much at a time and the batter turns too thick. Making sure the batter is still runny, keep adding the rest of the flour. Try to reach a consistency where if you pick up the spatula, the mixture should drop back down in the bowl within two seconds (if the mixture is too thick, you can simply add a bit more milk, or if it is too runny, add a bit more flour). After all the flour is folded into the mixture, gently pour the mixture into the baking tin and leave in the oven for 45 minutes until golden brown. Once cooked, remove the tin from the oven and leave to stand for a minute. Run a round-bladed knife around the inside of tin to loosen the sponge, then turn out onto a wire rack and leave to cool. Once it’s cooled, it’s ready to eat! ♥
You can also add some blueberries or nuts to the batter for added nutritional content!
I created this dark smokey-eye look using only cruelty-free, mostly drugstore products:
I did this look a while ago, inspired by Princess Fawzia Fuad. She was the princess of Egypt, who later became the queen of Iran for a short while. After the Egyptian Revolution to overthrow the monarchy in 1952, she was no longer a royal figure. I decided to do this look to perhaps shine the light on lesser-known figures, to gain an insight through history, or different geographical places around the world rather than doing a popular, typical modern-celebrity look. However, I am planning on doing a second Angelina Jolie look because looking back at it, I thought I can make some improvements! ♥
I feel that it is so incredibly essential to know where we put our money, and what exactly we are getting. When it comes to food, I think that it is so unnatural to buy something with a label that contains no word you can pronounce. You don’t actually know what it is, you don’t actually know how it’s made, where it’s extracted, where it comes from, and at the end, you put it in your body? Or some people automatically think that if it’s sold in stores, then it is safe and approved to be consumed so there’s nothing to worry about. It is up to you whether you buy these items or not, but I feel like it is your right and your responsibility to know exactly what is going in what you are buying. Sometimes when I go out for a quick snack to eat from a food place, I ask the workers for the ingredients inside their recipes, and they end up panicking asking each other for help because they don’t know what to tell me. They end up asking me if I’m allergic to anything, and I say “no, I just want to know the ingredients, I want to know what I’m buying”. They get surpised by my enquiry and I get surpised because by law, they have to know what they’re selling, they have to have a list of ingredients, and the customer should very easily attain them. I get surpised that this happens in a highly developed country, that customers cannot easily attain an ingredients list, let alone know what they’re buying.
That was a bit off topic from the heading of this post, but I want more people to take responsibility for where they are putting their money. I am very interested in beauty and definitely plan to develop the beauty section on this blog because it’s such a big part of my life and I’m very passionate about it. Because I usually turn to natural products, as part of my hair and body routine, that aspect is cruelty-free. However, in terms of make-up, I stayed away from two companies as I was aware they do animal testing, and I blindly thought that all other companies are okay. But after doing further research, I was surpised by the number of companies or parent companies that actually do animal testing and I feel that is is completely my responsibility to know exactly what I am buying, and what processes are done in creating these products, because I know I cannot physically fund animal testing, giving a company more money in order to carry out what they’re doing. Also, I learned that any company sold in China has to carry out animal testing since it’s required by law there. It just doesn’t make sense to me how some companies can make amazing products and be so successful and not carry out this crime. Just so we can look good. So, any further beauty or make-up products I may mention on this blog I will make sure it is cruelty free, and if you do not think it is, please let me know. It’s amazing how all these top multi-national corporations just abuse cheap labour, cheap land, and using all their resources to extreme utilitarian measures due to greed, possibly paying much cheaper tax, or even no tax at all. With all the crimes they’re committing, they still give you pretty advertisements, with the top celebrities using their products, and the amazing results you’re going to get, and it’s all just a lie. How much are you really chained to the lie? To the world? To the trends? Like it or not, to some extent you are, even subconsciously. I believe that it’s true freedom to be cut from all that.
Another thing I wanted to say, is that mainstream, commercial shampoo contains sulphates to strip the natural oils in your hair and dry it out. You are told the directions, you are told what to do “use this shampoo and follow with the conditioner for amazing silky hair, then use this moisturiser to seal in the hydration” and then people eventually start noticing their hair falling out, the health of their hair declining. So instead, they reach for natural sulphate -free alternatives, but not only that, but paraban-free and possibly mineral-oil free, because they find out that these chemicals are bad. Then those big multi-nationals start coming out with new products that are actually sulphate-free. It’s just ironic how they try to reverse the years of damage that they caused, to still try and get money off you. They obviously know that sulphates are bad for your hair prior to the studies or the media highlighting it. They know how bad and harmful the chemicals they put in the products can be. But they put it for maximum profit. For instant results, just like you see in that advertisement. What’s funny is, you don’t actually need sulphates to wash your hair, but it strips the oils in your hair purposely so you use conditioner, and thus giving more money and feeding that pattern of consumerism. There’s probably another chemical in their shampoo that’s harmful, and in a few years, it’s officially discovered that it’s harmful (even though they already know) then they release products without it, continuously getting money off you.
I just feel like it’s so important to be aware of these things. Not just with food, beauty products, but also the way the media one year claims that one year, fats are bad, and the next year, carbohydrates are bad. Directly having an impact on your diet. One year, it’s good to be skinny, and the next year, it’s good to have curly hair, and the next year it’s good to wear patterened trousers. Again, it’s all consumerism, but I feel like maybe people want to follow these trends because they subconsciously don’t want to “miss out”, they don’t want to feel like they’re missing out on something, the joys of something that they’re constantly surrounded with or budged into their eyes. But that also doesn’t go for trends, but it goes for life. You shouldn’t feel like you need to do something, you shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything, to “fit in” especially if you don’t know the purpose that you are doing it for. You don’t know what you are getting, you don’t know what you are buying from that possible invested time, energy, money, that you are putting into something. Just like how you check the ingredients list make sure you know what’s in a product because it’s your responsibility to care for yourself and know what you’re actually paying for. So we need to research and educate ourselves about what is in the actual products we are buying, or ideas we are buying or a lifestyle we are following. So, when you come to do something, possibly due to peer-pressure (from any direction), or anything, make sure you know exactly what you are going to get out of it. Don’t follow blindly. You are a free human being and there’s no need to tie yourself down.
When it comes to fitness, stop blaming others for your own progress. You’re the only one in control, it’s so easy to give excuses why you don’t do it. Just look down, you’re by yourself, and close your lips. Just do it. Just turn your brain off and just do it. Then you’ll find you came a long way away.. Just because your senses are turned off, you’re not listening, looking, thinking to all those different directions. No, you just do it.. And I believe that is how the people with the greatest physiques work. They just turn their brains off, put their heads down, do it, and get lost inside it. That’s the epitome of being focussed and in synchronisation with your body, moving, and progress.
We spend so long thinking ‘but I want to look like that’ with our eyes wide open. Just close your eyes and do it, because you don’t know how big of an inspiration you would be by just focusing inwards, reaching potentials that are better than the ones you saw. You don’t know what your genetic limit actually is, you don’t know what your full potential actually is, the journey is about discovering yourself and making the most out of you, your energy…
Whenever I post something on my blog, particularly about my feelings, I always like to end it with a note of hope or a solution because I really want to try my best to uplift other people. But right now I feel almost declining rather than uprising in my hope with what I’m feeling.. Or actually as I write this I might be inspired to get a solution to what I am going through. But the most important thing however, is that right now I am sure other people are going through the same emotions, so even though I may be expressing my feelings rather than offering words of wisdom, we are all in this together and we can all virtually hug each other.
I feel like I don’t know what love is anymore or heartbreak anymore. I have no idea if someone tells me they are going to be with me forever, if that is really true or not. If one day, everything just flips over so out of routine. If everyday, no matter what happens, he always says I love you before going to bed. But this time, he didn’t. If everyday you feel like his girl, but now you feel like a stranger. How one day I was sure of this more than anything, I would get in the way of doing anything just to listen to his voice. I could go through anything for him. And people would be surpised like ‘oh, you would do that? For a guy?’ And I’d look at them with such confusion like what world do you live in? Of course I would, he’s my one and only, he’s my soul mate. Wouldn’t you do that, go through anything for the person you love? Do we live in such a stiff world? Robotic? Rather than running through the jungle, having cuts and bruises in your skin, escaping a pack of lions, all sweaty.. But you just keep going, climbing up the mountains, escaping a volcano, you carry on running and running with love powering you through it, jump down the hill just to meet your love. And it’s that moment when you’re just there together that erases everything that you’ve been through, it was all nothing, absolutely nothing. It’s that special moment where everything stops. You feel like you’re not on Earth anymore, but up the sky, in another universe. Everyday, no matter what we go through, is like this. You always promised me with a family, to live with me eternally. And I would always think everything’s okay, the contract of love is already signed. This is it, this is my one and only, my life is complete. Anything that happens, it’s okay. I have my love, so why worry about anything? What is there to really worry about, how bad can anything be? I would walk like I’m floating on clouds, smiling like I’ve never smiled before, opened to a degree I’ve never been before. Just opened to the world. My smile entered the world inside me, I had it all inside me. It’s like I felt like a queen, and he is my king. We own everything, we go through everything. So strong so powerful together.
Years on, and it feels like a war zone. I was so high up in the sky but right now I feel like I’m so beat up on the ground. And I can’t get up. I feel so weak. I feel like now it’s just me. My body is aching, but I look around me and you’re not there.. I feel like all I want to do is sleep. Just to not feel anything. Just to not feel my heart hurting or my tears exploding. This is a time where I feel so weak. I keep thinking to myself.. Maybe because I’m going through so much, maybe because I’m just moody, whatever.. But whatever the excuse is, it wasn’t what I was going through before. There’s nothing, there’s absolutely nothing. But yet you tell me to end it there so cheaply, so easily, like it’s a playful toy. Twice so far I felt like that was it. It’s going to end. And right now, I don’t know what it is, I don’t know what I’m feeling, I wish I had a mental book of guidance to guide me but I don’t. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know what he wants. But not telling me I love you before you go to sleep means a lot to me. Indicates something to me, so I’m leaving you alone until you make up your mind. This is my first love, and my only love. I always thought that even if it didn’t workout, I would live alone single for the rest of my life. Because it’s either I’m with the person I love, or with no one. I want absolutely no one. Sometimes I think.. Am I meant to even be with someone? I’m a complete head ache, a complete crazy person.. How could anyone take me? I’m like the most loving caring person, I can give you everything, I can give you my life. But maybe I’m also an obsessive control freak.. I don’t know. I don’t know if anyone can take it. I don’t knoww what this is. I don’t know what love is. I don’t know what a soul mate is. I always knew he was my soul mate because it felt like we’ve known each other before we were born, and we feel each other excessively well. Every emotion that comes out of us, we feel it and we share it. It’s sometimes hard being so close to feel everything together. But why is this happening now? Why now? Before, ‘ending’ it was a red line, it wouldn’t even be mentioned. But now it’s a solution? Now you’re telling me you’re not the right person for me, and telling me to go ahead and end it.. Is it because you’re scared to do it? Does that mean you had enough? What is this? Why is this so painful so much torture and why am I so stubborn why do I love you so much. Again, I’m thinking.. I should be alone for the rest of my life. Sometimes I feel like I just don’t trust men. I just don’t, and that’s my problem. I don’t know what I want. All I wish for right now, is for things to be less painful so I can get on with my life. I want my heart to heal. I want to get up off the ground. My head hurts. But at the end, it’s really your choice.
I realised how weak I am. The people around me always label me as a strong person. I guess it’s because I grow out of things so quickly, I enter them hard, until I collapse, and leave them. Done. But with love, I don’t know what I’m dealing with. All my life, I’ve had guys coming to me. But I never really wanted any. I didn’t really care. Sometimes in the darkest of days, I wish a guy could just hold my hand and tell me that I’m purely beautiful rather than sexy. Just so pure so innocent. I wanted to know that real love exists. Even though I sometimes wanted a relationship, I never actively pursued it. I always thought I’ll wait until the time comes, because I want real love. I want real emotions. I want real passion. I wanted a really genuine person that would be with me forever. So that area of my life was ‘paused’ like on a DVD player. I was always so by myself, I don’t really have a big family here, I don’t have siblings, and I don’t have any true friends – they would always do something behind my back. So really, I felt alone. There’s difference between being alone and feeling alone. Feeling alone is when you feel like you’re isolated and no one is really there for you. So I was going through the darkest of days, with absolutely no body, I was just so vulnerable at that time in my life. Eventually, I grew out of it, after those years, things started to change. I started praying that my life would change, that I can change, I wanted light in my life. I started improving, bit by bit, picking up myself from the floor, gaining strength, improving myself and my health. I’m so thankful for that. I never knew I would get out, I thought my life would be like that forever, but I did. I really learned that you can get out of anything, no matter what it is, no matter how dark it may be. Because you are a human, inside you full of energy and potential. Inside you, there’s everything.. There’s a whole universe, and if you start to look for positivity, that is what you will attract. So my life really started improving, and right at that time, I found my soul mate, my first love. And I was mind-blown, even though we’re so far away, it seems like we’re so close. It seems like we came out of each other. Like we’re the same person. And I thought to myself, this is what I’ve been waiting for all along. It’s meant to be. I felt like a whole new different person, now connected to the most amazing man. My Prince Charming. Everything about him so perfectly crafted and tailored, as if he wasn’t a real person. He seemed so youthful and energetic, I always imagined him running to get what he wanted, running across the football pitch to score a goal, to get what he wanted, so high and tall. To score for me. He started telling me he wanted to have a family with me.. To my surprise and unexpectedness, I questioned myself if a guy that age really wanted that, and a guy so perfect, really wanted it with me? I kept thinking that I’m so blessed to have that, it almost didn’t absorb into me at first because I was so shocked. I couldn’t sleep because of the hyperness, all I think about is him. We did anything to talk to each other, to get to each other. I felt so special and I felt stronger than ever in my life. I felt like I wasn’t alone, but there is someone who is meant to be with me, who’s there for me, who cares for me, out of pure emotion and nothing else. There was something so exotic about it, so mysterious, yet, so real and so genuine and pure. I loved it, they were some of the best days of my life. I always say that every day with him is the best day of my life. But everything was just going so smooth, my life at school, my health, my spirituality, and wellbeing were at their best. I felt so strong. Of course, as time passes, we have our ups and downs, but that’s okay. We always ended it swiftly, by understanding each other, because we were together, not against each other. Every little thing he does can make me jump up and smile and squeak in hyperness, but can also hurt me so much and make me cry hard. But now I’m reflecting with myself.. Was all that real? Why is it when we clash now, we’re going against each other, rather than with each other? And so cheaply the words ‘end it now’ comes out, after everything we’ve been through.. Because I’m feeling so weak now and so beat up, was my strength built upon something breakable? It never even crossed my mind that it was breakable, it was impossible. But now it seems easy. I never knew. What is love? I also feel like other emotions that I don’t want are blended in.. Like ownership, like possession, insecurity.. Rather than being pure, clean love, that’s so pure that it’s almost not human, it became more human. More down to earth, polluted, rather than up in the sky..
I never give up on what I love, and I always have hope that things will change. Writing this, although I was crying, made me feel better and stronger at a time where I’m feeling weak. I always like to give a possible solution, or words of hope at the end to those who read my posts, but I am sure someone else is going through this and we are all here together. This is my first love, so I really don’t know what’s going on most of the time, but I try to trust my instincts. It is hard, especially that I am so emotionally connected to him, but it makes me realise that I have to be more strong and independent. Because I believe that no woman should be taken back because of anything, because of any insecurity. No woman should feel like she has to hold onto anybody, or anything, or stay in a relationship where she doesn’t want to be. Or give something that she doesn’t want to give. I feel like so many women bear with so much and just keep quiet. I see my mum, and I want to uplift her from where she is, she has to go. That is why I never want to be in that position, I never want to be married, with kids, and be in a relationship that I want to escape from. That’s why I do anything to protect myself from that. Sometimes to the point where it makes me go crazy.. But it’s not just for women, it’s for anybody. Usually in a long-term relationship, because it becomes part of your every-day life, and even identity, it can be hard to let go because it’s your comfort zone, because you’re used to it, because of fear. But it’s thinking about what you would gain rather than lose if your relationship is unsatisfactory, it could be scary, but you deserve to be happy. And sometimes the happiest people are the ones who let go, because you are a free human being.
Anyway, I am very present-time orientated, and I’m trying to take it bit by bit, one moment and a time, and being patient for what to come. I feel better after writing this and I am so thankful to have this platform to share my emotions. ❤️ I love you.